Monday, May 4, 2015

Happy Bird Day

According to da Wacky Holidays list, today is Bird Day... so dis is for my friend Kismet!

I cracker myself up!   Hehehe.
Time for some Monday morning funnies.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie.

Q: What figure describes a lost parrot?
A: A polygon!

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Q: How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
A: Send him to polytechnic!

Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a tiger?
A: I don't know, but when it talks you better listen carefully.

Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

Q: What's smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee

A burglar got into a house one holiday night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables. He heard again, "Jesus is watching you."
This time he shined his light all over, and it rested on a parrot.
He asked, "Did you say that?"
The parrot admitted that he had. "I'm just trying to warn you, is all."
The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? A parrot? Who are you? What's your name?"
"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"
The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler "Jesus'"........


Have a grrrrrrrrrrrrreat day.


  1. you always make us chuckle ranger :)

  2. Happy Bird Day to all our feathered friends! Great jokes, Ranger

  3. Our favorite pastime is bird TV
    Lily & Edward

  4. Hehehe those a funny Ranger,xx Speedy

  5. A bachelor had a parrot friend of mine and the parrot picked up some really blue phrases. It wasn't a problem until his mom decided to pay him an unannounced visit. The bachelor couldn't have the parrot talking that way around mom, so he put the parrot in the refrigerator. After mom left, he retrieved the bird and the parrot told him that in the future he'd cool his language when told to so he wouldn't have to go back in the icebox. "And, by the way, what so bad that the chicken said?"

  6. hahahahahaha... I will read that to my momma, her nickname is The Parrot... I bet she will laugh too :o) ... maybe :o)
    easy rider

  7. OMD OMD OMB OMB Ranger these have us ROTF LOTO.... You should that THIS act on the Road...
    What BIRDBRAIN gave you all this material???

  8. the Jesus, burglar one.....that was some awesome laughs....wait, you mean Kismet has not we gotta come back to see the remarks this brings!

    The Mad Scots

  9. Bwahaahaa! How funny. We chased lots of birds on Bird Day....we may continue today.

  10. Bwwwa haaa thanks for the giggles Ranger!
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

  11. HeHe, that's put a smiley on the faces round here Ranger…..and thats real impressive BEFORE morning puppicinos!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  12. BOL! Thanks for the laughs!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

    PS - Tomorrow the Blogville Barkers debut in their furst practice!

  13. We loved the jokes and we are happy that you honored our friend Kismet.

  14. BOL the last one made us laugh out loud. Thanks we needed that.

    Aroo to you,

  15. My mom is going to tell her first graders these jokes tomorrow. They are all about jokes right now! I want to know why the birdies don't want to be my friend when I just want to play with them?!

  16. Bwaaahaaaaaaaa!!!!! I am peeing myself laughing!!

    Loveys Sasha

  17. BOL!! Nice bird-suit Ranger, we didn't recognise you!
    Wally & Sammy

  18. You had me laughing like a kookaburra!!


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