Monday, February 2, 2015

Pawlice Academy Day 1 - Officer Tools & Weapons

Good Afternoon Recruits.
Now it's time to learn all about some of the Tools and Weapons that you will be handling.

Let's start wiff general Officer Tools.

Your number 1 tool is your senses (eyes, ears, and nose).   They are invaluable tools of our profession.   Always stay alert and you will be a top officer.

Here are some other tools that you will be using.

Officer Sully will discuss usage and protocol for using this key communication tool tomorrow.   Handcuffs will also be covered in other classes.

Other Officer tools and include flashlights, batons, mace, and taser/shock collars.

Flashlight tactics - Shining a flashlight in a criminal's eyes can temporarily blind dem.   They are also used in tracking and searching for evidence and criminals.
Batons can be used to temporarily daze a criminal or to trip dem.   They are NOT used for twirling.
Mace can be use to temporarily blind a criminal, giving your time to cuff dem.   Be careful not to point da mace can at yourself or to confuse it wiff your fur spray.
Tasers/Shock Collars can be used to to spot a criminal and detain dem.   Be careful not to taser a fellow Officer.

Now it's time for Weapons handling.

Rule #1:  We use weapons Only to detain da criminals.  Criminals will be brought before Judge Frankie’s Court.

 We only use water pistols, poopie pellets, and tranquilizer darts in the Long Rifles.

Junior Officers will initially be assigned water pistols.  Most criminal do not like water and will be stopped by dem.   You can also load dem will jelly and you will find dat criminal frequently stop taste da jelly when hit.   This will give you time to cuff dem.

Full Officers will have Poopie Pellet Guns.  Da stinker da better.

Rodent Patrol Officers will also have use of Long Rifles with tranquilizers.    Right now, Office Ruby Top Cop Sidebite, Commissioner Sarge and myself are da only ones trained and allowed to use this weapon.

Now.... any questions?

Sophie:   How do I clean my water pistol?
Ranger:  You must clean your weapon daily.    Jr. Officers should use soapy water and shoot bubbles until dar weapon is totally cleaned.

Freya:  I'm a Beach Patrol Officer, can I use salt water to fill my pistol?
Ranger:  Yes, but you should still clean it daily wiff tap water so da salt doesn't clog your pistol.

Princess Leah:  Can I use pink fruit punch in my pistol?
Ranger:  Sure

Easy:   I just wanted to mention dat Full Officers should not load dar poopie pellet pistol with fresh poop.   From experience, I can tell you that it will clog da pistol.   Oh, and cleaning it will be nasty.
Charlie:  Crikey that would be a poopie slider.   Baaawwwaahaaaa.

Ranger:  And now..... we'll head outside to practice wiff our weapons.   All Jr Officers should pair up with a Sr. Officer and they will show you how to load, shoot, and clean your water pistols.    DUI!  Wear are you going?
Dui:  I just wanted another donut.
Ranger:  You can have more donuts AFTER your your weapons practice.
Sidney:   Arrrrrooooooo...... did someone say donuts?
Ranger:  NO DONUTS until after weapons practice.

Maybe I should have cut out the donuts sooner.
I think the Jr. Officers are on a super high.
Let's go Jr Officers.

Fill you pistols wiff your favorite fluid and start practice  shooting!
NO Ruby..... do not let them fill dar pistols wiff margaritas.

Dui:  Baaawaahhhaaa.... Riley tagged me!
Look out Riley, you're mine!

Shelby:  Run Princess Leah, before I tag you!
Speedy:   I'm not getting my furs wet!
Oh.... and I left some poopie pellets back dar.
Do I get extra credit for dat?

Arty:  Drat..... they got my tail.
I was sure I was running fast enough.

Riley:   Abby got me.   She is sneaky.

Whitley:  Hey fellow Jr Officers.... Detective Wallace just told me dat we can get some extra credit if we all tag Ranger.    Are you in?
Jr. Officers:   YES.   Let's go! 

Class dismissed.  See y'all tomorrow.

                        Ranger (DTC)


  1. LOL pistols with margaritas would be just the ticket for our peeps. Nice work there dudes. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

  2. Arroooo! Pawsome class Ranger! I hope the recruits don't bring their water pistols to tracking class. The ones filled with jelly will make it hard to concentrate. Wait a minute...we can use them to fill our donuts! YES!! Point that margarita gun towards my mouth Ruby!!

  3. Great class. The cadets are looking good.

  4. What piece of equipment do you use to tell when the "Krispy Kreme" light goes on?

    1. BOL........ I'll have to work on dat one.

  5. Hehehe My Poopie pellets are pawsome for shooting Ranger...Hey that means I've always got Amo! That is so cool!Hehehe and I didn't get wet!Hehehe,xx Speedy

  6. Great class Ranger..well explained....oh and you look cute in multiple colors.

    Top Cop Bites

  7. Um, Officer Ranger, Dui here, are you sure that when we restrain a squirrel, we can't give him a bit of a scottie death shake?

    1. Yeah, I means I's perfeckted da ole shakey-shakey on da vermins, it seems like a shame not to use it.

      Dey causes thousands of house fires a year... and Momma is still ticked off at 'em for chewin' up her soffits and causin' her big $$$ in repairs...

    2. Now Dui I hope you read and reread the taser use rules. Note well: Be careful not to taser a fellow Officer.

  8. Looks like blogville is very well protected

  9. BOL! There are hazards being an officer.

  10. I wonder if they'd notice if I snaffled a pistol to take home to play wiv? I'm sure they'd never notice!!!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  11. I don't know Ranger, looks like you have your paws full with this class.

  12. Hey Ranger!
    Wow, excellent class today! They are a little rowdy, but I think they're getting practice anyway....even if they shot you. BOL I'd like to load my pistol with jelly from inside Ruby's jelly-filled donuts. That'd keep anyone busy.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Police Commish

  13. What a great class Ranger , Sir!! Sorry about the whole shooting you in the eye thing.....
    Smiley Salute!
    Junior Officer Arty

  14. I gots a question, Ranger, Sir!! I noticed dat some of dem udder pupses from udder countries gots a corresponding hat.....

    Well, ya know dey say, "Texas is a whole nother country".... so can us Texans git us some Texas Ranger-like Stetsons???

    Please, please, please??? Like these?

  15. That was really fun! Maybe I should have joined up too!

  16. Crikey ..... so much to learn. Roo poops not runny ..... can't I use that in my poopie pistol????????

  17. Sophie and cleaning do not go together. Lots of luck with that. They do have experience with mace. We carry it at all times.

  18. OMD! This training is state of the art! We are so impressed with the level of training (and your dad's use of photo editing. He has come a long way!!)! Well done Top Cop!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

    1. Oops, wrong blog BOL! OK Ranger, well done, very well done!!

  19. BOL our new recruits are eager to learn and full of questions. I have a few concerns about their handling their guns and shooting skills......better you than me my friend. BOL they really got ya!

    Aroo to you,

  20. Dang, I'm gonna have to work on my aim. No one speck of green on you. Do you have after training tutorials for us pups who are target challenged?

    Junior Officer Riley (who is still waiting on the Raybans)

  21. Ooops, I can see that there is a little work to be done on training. It will be a busy day, make sure to get plenty of rest. I will supply fresh donuts.

    Loveys Chef Sasha

  22. yes, that's true... and the worst is if the ammo is made with babyfood... wow, what a mess!
    Thanks for a colorful lesson Ranger and many thanks for all that work!
    easy Rider


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