Talk Like A Pirate Day

Ahoy! ye Landlubbers!

Dis year I thought dat I'd share a few laughs wiff yee on "Talk Like A Pirate Day".

• Have you heard about the new pirate movie?.......... It’s rated AARRRRGGH!
• What kind of socks does a pirate wear? .......... Smelly AARRRRGGHyle socks!  All da better to snatch and race around da house wiff.
• Where do pirates keep their cookies?....... in his JAWWWWW!!!!  Nom, nom, nom.
• Where do pirates like to eat?  in da BARRRRRR of course!!!!
• Why are pirates the coolest?...... They just ARRRRRRRR!!!

 

And now a wee little groggy story: 

A pirate, named Blackbeard da Scot and his parrot, named Pepe (Kismet's scoundrel of a cousin), were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle against the Rancid Squirrels of Virginia.

While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Blackbeard stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.  To his amazement a Genie came forth. 
Now, dis particular Genie, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.  Without giving any thought to the matter, Blackbeard blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" 

The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by pirates.

Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances.  Pepe looked disgustedly at Blackbeard and squawked:   "Now yee've done it!!    Now yaaa're gonna hav to pee in the boat." 

 Wags, 

                                                        Captain Ranger Blackbeard da Scot