Pawlice Academy Day 1 - Officer Tools & Weapons

Good Afternoon Recruits.

Now it's time to learn all about some of the Tools and Weapons that you will be handling.

Let's start wiff general Officer Tools.

Your number 1 tool is your senses (eyes, ears, and nose).   They are invaluable tools of our profession.   Always stay alert and you will be a top officer.

Here are some other tools that you will be using.

Walkie-Talkie

Officer Sully will discuss usage and protocol for using this key communication tool tomorrow.   Handcuffs will also be covered in other classes.



Other Officer tools and include flashlights, batons, mace, and taser/shock collars.

Flashlight tactics - Shining a flashlight in a criminal's eyes can temporarily blind dem.   They are also used in tracking and searching for evidence and criminals.
Batons can be used to temporarily daze a criminal or to trip dem.   They are NOT used for twirling.
Mace can be use to temporarily blind a criminal, giving your time to cuff dem.   Be careful not to point da mace can at yourself or to confuse it wiff your fur spray.
Tasers/Shock Collars can be used to to spot a criminal and detain dem.   Be careful not to taser a fellow Officer.


Now it's time for Weapons handling.

Rule #1:  We use weapons Only to detain da criminals.  Criminals will be brought before Judge Frankie’s Court.

 We only use water pistols, poopie pellets, and tranquilizer darts in the Long Rifles.

Junior Officers will initially be assigned water pistols.  Most criminal do not like water and will be stopped by dem.   You can also load dem will jelly and you will find dat criminal frequently stop taste da jelly when hit.   This will give you time to cuff dem.

Full Officers will have Poopie Pellet Guns.  Da stinker da better.

Rodent Patrol Officers will also have use of Long Rifles with tranquilizers.    Right now, Office Ruby Top Cop Sidebite, Commissioner Sarge and myself are da only ones trained and allowed to use this weapon.

Now.... any questions?

Sophie:   How do I clean my water pistol?
Ranger:  You must clean your weapon daily.    Jr. Officers should use soapy water and shoot bubbles until dar weapon is totally cleaned.

Freya:  I'm a Beach Patrol Officer, can I use salt water to fill my pistol?
Ranger:  Yes, but you should still clean it daily wiff tap water so da salt doesn't clog your pistol.

Princess Leah:  Can I use pink fruit punch in my pistol?
Ranger:  Sure

Easy:   I just wanted to mention dat Full Officers should not load dar poopie pellet pistol with fresh poop.   From experience, I can tell you that it will clog da pistol.   Oh, and cleaning it will be nasty.
Charlie:  Crikey Easy.....now that would be a poopie slider.   Baaawwwaahaaaa.

Ranger:  And now..... we'll head outside to practice wiff our weapons.   All Jr Officers should pair up with a Sr. Officer and they will show you how to load, shoot, and clean your water pistols.    DUI!  Wear are you going?
Dui:  I just wanted another donut.
Ranger:  You can have more donuts AFTER your your weapons practice.
Sidney:   Arrrrrooooooo...... did someone say donuts?
Ranger:  NO DONUTS until after weapons practice.

Maybe I should have cut out the donuts sooner.
I think the Jr. Officers are on a super high.

Let's go Jr Officers.

Fill you pistols wiff your favorite fluid and start practice  shooting!
NO Ruby..... do not let them fill dar pistols wiff margaritas.

Dui:  Baaawaahhhaaa.... Riley tagged me!
Look out Riley, you're mine!

Shelby:  Run Princess Leah, before I tag you!

Speedy:   I'm not getting my furs wet!
Oh.... and I left some poopie pellets back dar.
Do I get extra credit for dat?

Arty:  Drat..... they got my tail.
I was sure I was running fast enough.

Riley:   Abby got me.   She is sneaky.

Whitley:  Hey fellow Jr Officers.... Detective Wallace just told me dat we can get some extra credit if we all tag Ranger.    Are you in?

Jr. Officers:   YES.   Let's go! 

Class dismissed.  See y'all tomorrow.

Wags,
                        Ranger (DTC)